What's going on?

Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm meeting the expectations of the people around me.

Sometimes I wonder if I need to care about meeting the expectations of the people around me.

Most of all, I wonder if I need to care about meeting the expectations I set for myself.

I'm constantly caught between caring for my own sanity vs caring for others.

I'm a worrier, a worrier about everything. I stress, I stress about everything.

I plan, I plan everything. I plan Plan As, Plan Bs and Plan Cs.

But life, life is not about plans.  Life is going with the flow, going with the unexpected. And I struggle, I struggle to fit into the unexpected.

I struggle to find my place, I struggle to meet the expectations I set for myself.

I struggle because I'm not perfect and I struggle to be.

And I feel like I'm failing. I have failed, so many times before, and I always get back up. So why do I still fear it?

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What's going on?