Sometimes, I wonder why I do things the way I do. I wonder if the amount of effort and thought I put into doing things are appropriate for what they are worth. When I realise that I haven't been doing what I think I'm supposed to, I get upset... for the fact that I didn't realise it before and make a difference then.
It took me so long to get here... and I wonder if I'm doing things the right way - whether I really want to do it and how much I want it. Deep down inside, I know I really want to do this and yet a part of me tells me that I'm going to do something different one day and all this is not going to matter anymore...
The truth is... I want to make a difference - even if it is a small one. Dreams are not meant to be perfect. We make some changes to achieve something and while we are on our way, we tune it again. Right now, my dream is a blur and many might think it's a bad thing. Even I was convinced that I was doing something wrong. Whenever someone asks me what I want to do in future, my answer is "I don't know". But when I think about it, I realise that sometimes "I don't know" isn't a bad thing. "I don't know" could just mean that I'm thinking it through deeply and not just jumping into something that everybody else thinks is good for me. Because at the end of the day, it's not going to mean anything if I'm doing something I don't enjoy. Because at the end of the day, I don't want to be just another digit...
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